Cut and Paste, Start Again ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- metaphorically speaking I get this feeling sometimes, and I've had it for years, there are short bursts of time when it feels less true, but I always get back to this place. I feel like I'm locked out. Like I'm on the outside looking in at life. Not just my own life, but on life itself, on the whole world with all it's breathing, I'm locked out. At some point I went outside for a breather and the door locked behind me and I don't have a key to get back in. So I'm just watching through the window, I'm laughing and crying with everyone else but no one even notices it, because I'm on the outside watching instead of inside living. And I'm not even sure if I want to go back in really. I like the quiet and the calm of not being a part of what's happening. I just wish that someone would come and sit outside with me and watch.... sometimes people do, but they never seem to stay... and I don't know how to follow them back inside.
19:50 - 30 June 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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