Cut and Paste, Start Again

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june

It's the longest month of every year because of the constant rain. I am not someone who fairs well with non stop grey and sticky air.

I've been feeling very quiet inside again. Overwhelmed in one sense by the contradictory emotions of the last few months, but also underwhelmed by how familiar and repetitive it all becomes. I want to reach out and talk to friends about these feelings but the conversations are all the same and that's a bit more than I can handle, so I've just gone quiet and kind of numb.

Life should be more than just getting by.

Am I the problem?

Do you ever get tired watching someone else get through their days when they don't seem to be phased in the least? Wake up, go to work, pretend to be someone you're not and pretend to enjoy it, come home, drink until you forget yourself, go to bed, start again.

I want something to happen. I want a door to open and to just know that going through it is a chance for real change. I want to wake up in the morning and not recognize my life. Because right now, no matter what I do, no matter what new direction I push into, it all just feels the same.

08:54 - 26 June 2009

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DiaryLand

stranger in a strange land - 13 July 2012
june - 26 June 2009
soft, clear, metallic tone - 15 March 2009
right - 12 March 2009
... <3 - 22 February 2009

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