Cut and Paste, Start Again

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Most of the time

I feel nothing for the people I meet. I don't treat them poorly, I'm very helpful, I'll go out of my way for them because I like to be useful. But I feel nothing, no connection, no attachment, no obligation whatsoever. You'd think that for someone so emotional that would be difficult to do, but it isn't. I keep everyone at arms length. I cut ties with people easily. I pick up and walk out of lives without the slightest guilt. I rationalize it as "they never really knew me, so how will they miss me." I don't let people get dependent, and I don't become dependent.

But every once in a blue moon something goes wrong, someone gets under my skin and I just can't fight it.
Every once a blue moon the girl who craves an intense amount of independence
finds herself begging not to be left alone.
Every once in a blue moon, I get weak.

02:27 - 05 December 2008

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